Things I Learned As A New Mom
I don’t care who you are, no one is ever prepared to have a child.
I thought having his room ready and being extremely organized was me being ready. No, not one bit.
Motherhood hit me really hard, really fast. You really do just learn as you go, and today I wanted to share some things that I learned as a new mother, in the hopes that this can help any new mommas or mommas to be out there.
Never be afraid to ask for help.
You just gave birth to a child, I know that wasn’t easy. You’re tired, you’re uncomfortable and you’re tired. Ask for help. Whether you ask your partner, mother or friend…just ask. You will benefit more from a nap than you will fighting to keep your eyes open and struggling to function. Let them help make a meal, clean the house, do the laundry, whatever it may be, let them help. You are no less of a woman because you need help doing the things you usually did on your own.
Your body is not ugly.
Do you realize what your body just did? It created a human being! That is incredible! We are definitely the superior one’s on earth, am I right? Your body is not ugly. Don’t be mean to it. It got you through a lot and it created the little human you never knew you needed. You will bounce back when you’re ready. Don’t worry about your body right now. I know it’s hard not to want your old body back, but you’ll get there when you’re ready.
When the baby naps, you nap.
I learned this one the hard way. When my son napped, I rushed to clean the house. I never rested. This was the biggest mistake I did. The house can wait. You need to rest more than that kitchen getting cleaned. Your sleep is so rare right now, that you really need to take advantage of every available opportunity. Nap when they nap. Sleep when they sleep.
Routine is the key to EVERYTHING!
Once you get yourself into a routine, everything will start feeling a little easier day by day. Now, I won’t sit here and tell you what to do, as far as your routine goes, but I’ll tell you one thing we did that really helped us. We really wanted our son to start sleeping through the night so we started a very strict feeding routine that even had us waking our son up during the day to eat. It wasn’t easy and he refused to wake up most of the time, but we kept at it every day and by 3 months old….he was sleeping through the night. Starting a routine with everything (feeding, sleep, etc) will help you immensely. The baby WILL catch on with time.
Things WILL get easier.
I know you think things will never be normal again right now, but trust me, they will. For me, the older my son got, the easier it was. Every stage comes with it’s own challenges but it still wasn’t as hard as those first few months were. That routine really helps make things feel easier. You just get used to it and you seriously become a super hero mom.
Don’t forget that you matter too.
This is a tough one and one that I know some won’t agree with me, but it needs to be said. YOU MATTER TOO! We’re wired to think that these babies come first, but you come first too. How the hell do we expect to care and love for a child when we can’t even do it for ourselves? I remember being on the phone with my mother one day and my son was crying in the background. She asked what was wrong with him and I said “he’s just being fussy” and he was. I had already fed him, burped him and changed him. He was in his baby swing and was just upset. My mom said “go pick him up” and I said “no, I’m having my lunch.” She told me that the baby came first and I told her “no, I matter too. I’ll get him as soon as I’m done.” Babies cry and sometimes they’ll cry for no reason. I was very hungry and I needed to eat before I passed out. Mom’s, you matter too. Take care of your child but also take care of yourself.
You’re doing a better job than you think you are.
It’s normal to question if you’re doing the right thing EVERY SINGLE DAY. You will always question yourself, I honestly don’t think that will ever go away. Know this, you’re a great mother and you’re doing just fine. Stop comparing yourself to all the mother’s you see on social media or in your play groups. You’re not any better than they are and vise versa. We are ALL in this together. We are ALL struggling and NONE of us have it together no matter how much they make you think they do. You’re doing the best you can for you and your child and that’s all that matters.